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The Role of Presence

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Being "authentically present" means fully engaging with someone not just through words but with your entire being. It's about making the person feel seen, heard, and valued.

Why It's More Impactful Than Words Alone

  • It builds trust. Your physical presence indicates a level of commitment and concern that words alone may not convey.
  • It improves understanding. When you're fully present, you're more likely to catch the nuances of what the other person is saying or feeling.
  • It gives comfort. Sometimes your presence can offer a level of comfort and security that words cannot.

How to Be Authentically Present

Let's explore some concrete ways to be authentically present.

Be Mindful

Be fully in the moment, setting aside your own concerns or distractions. If you're meeting a friend for coffee who needs encouragement, resist the urge to check your phone for messages or emails. Dedicate that time solely to your friend.

Use Non-Verbal Communication

Use body language to show that you're engaged in the conversation. When someone is sharing something important with you, maintain eye contact, nod affirmatively, and lean slightly forward. These non-verbal cues show the other person that you are fully engaged in what they're saying.

Active Listening

Apply active listening techniques (from Lesson 1) to show that you're not just physically present but also mentally and emotionally invested in the conversation. When someone is talking about a struggle they're facing, don't interrupt or immediately offer advice. Instead, let them finish speaking, and then paraphrase what you've heard to make sure you've understood them correctly.

Additional Tip: Emotional Availability

Be willing to engage emotionally, not just intellectually, with the other person. If someone is sharing a painful experience, it's okay to show your own emotions. It could be a look of concern, a touch on the arm, or even sharing your own feelings of sadness or outrage. Your emotional availability can make the other person feel more comfortable opening up.