Hidden Faults

Dr. JoAnne Lyon’s story begins with a fairly sobering tale. She was a pastor’s wife. She thought she was more than right with God. Perhaps unthinkingly, she assumed she was on a higher spiritual plane than the other Christians around her. She assumed she knew far more about God than they did.

When you set up the story like this, it seems obvious where it is going. When she tells the story, our reaction is predictable. “She obviously had some spiritual work to do.” It’s so easy to see that this person has a spiritual problem that needs to be addressed.

The problem is that it is always easier to see the spiritual needs of others than it is for us to see our own problems. Psychologists use the term “rationalization” to refer to finding ways to justify actions that others can see are obviously wrong. Jesus talked about removing the “log” from our own eyes before we judge other people for the “speck” that is in theirs (Matt. 7:1-5).

This kind of self-deception can go well beyond us as individuals. We can form subcultures, even in the church, that cannot see their own blind spots. One of the great values of a global church is for Christians outside our own context to be able to point out areas where we have lost focus or even lost our way. God can even use the world outside the church to try to shake the church out of its slumber.

Psalm 19:12 puts it this way: “Who can discern their own errors? Forgive my hidden faults.” Sometimes God shakes us awake, as he did Dr. Lyon. God shook the apostle Paul from his misguided zeal on the Damascus Road (Acts 9; Rom. 10:2). May the Lord do so to all of us who are on the wrong path but deep down truly want to serve the Lord!

Hebrews 4:12-13 tells us that “the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.” 

The word of God in Hebrews 4:12 probably does not refer to the Bible, although God can use the Bible to penetrate our defenses. It probably does not refer to Jesus either here. It more likely refers to God’s judgment in action. God knows everything. The Spirit knows our intentions. God knows our hearts. God knows what we ourselves are hiding from our conscious mind. Sometimes it is a gnawing feeling deep down, this sense just below the surface that we are in the wrong.

Dr. Lyon also sensed she needed to get her spiritual house in order. She just didn’t think she had the time for it. The chapter of the book God used to convict her heart was called, “Ego Slaying.” In the holiness tradition, we used to talk about “dying to self.” Dying to self is when you let God take over the driving of your life. Instead of living for yourself and what you want, you truly start living for God and what God wants.

For Dr. Lyon, it meant letting go of her pride and arrogance. It meant giving up her sense that she knew it all and was in control of everything. It meant giving up her sense of self-righteousness. It meant humbling herself. It meant not thinking she was better than the people in her church or the people in the mountains that her husband ministered to. 

Her inner turmoil was so great that it was causing her to be physically sick. It was only when she let go of everything that God truly began to work through her. We used to say that she was “entirely sanctified” when she finally gave up everything to God. Only when she gave God everything did God choose to use her everything.

Certainly, God uses people who aren’t fully surrendered to him. Indeed, God can use people who don’t even believe in him. But God longs most to use those who fully surrender everything to him. Now God can take the car where he wants it to go rather than where we want it to go.

God wants all of us. God wants us to give him those things we are hiding from ourselves. We must pray for the Lord to show us these things. “Search me, God, and know my heart… see if there is any offensive way in me” (Ps. 139:23).